anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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