she woke up with a sticky ear
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
