this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
