I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
