Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
