we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
