He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
