Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The Olympian is in my bed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
