dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
