Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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