She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
