He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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