Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
