Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
