he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
