its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
