butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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