yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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