OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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