I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
