shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
