last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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