But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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