i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
