marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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