my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Naked. naked and bneed help.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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