Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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