Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
