didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
