I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
