She is in my trunk
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
