Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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