so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
