Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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