:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
