Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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