worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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