dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
