thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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