Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
