we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
