your parents love me but you hate me
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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