let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
