So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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