Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
