6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
