I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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