I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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