I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fuck appropriateness.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
