She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
